Way to much time on his hands..
http://coolmaterial.com/cool-list/what-not-to-buy-your-girlfriend-for-christmas/
Do any of these gifts seem appropriate for Christmas?
http://coolmaterial.com/cool-list/what-not-to-buy-your-girlfriend-for-christmas/
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Old Swithceroo
So, sometimes when you see a website or article in the paper, or even a magazine....they switch the pictures for the story with non-story based generic pictures.....stock photos if you will.
Well, the other day I was reading my daughter's blog...and all the way at the bottom was an entry for "My Cat Scout". Now everyone knows that Scout was actually a present for me, from my wife. So when I saw the picture in the blog....I thought it was absolutely unbelievable that she would post a picture of a cat that doesn't even look like Scout. I asked her why she would do that and her answer was....."it kinda looks like her". Why wouldn't she even use a photo of her actual cat? Its like the Chinese girl in the Olympics who sang the opening ceremonies song.....no not the ugly one....the cute one everyone saw........
here is the picture of fake Scout...
.
Here is the actual picture of Scout....
Well, the other day I was reading my daughter's blog...and all the way at the bottom was an entry for "My Cat Scout". Now everyone knows that Scout was actually a present for me, from my wife. So when I saw the picture in the blog....I thought it was absolutely unbelievable that she would post a picture of a cat that doesn't even look like Scout. I asked her why she would do that and her answer was....."it kinda looks like her". Why wouldn't she even use a photo of her actual cat? Its like the Chinese girl in the Olympics who sang the opening ceremonies song.....no not the ugly one....the cute one everyone saw........
here is the picture of fake Scout...
.
Here is the actual picture of Scout....
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
50 Incorrect Pronunciations That Make You Look Dumb
Here are 50 frequently mispronounced words. The list is by no means exhaustive, but provides a good start.
1. aegis - The ae in this word is pronounced /ee/. Say EE-JIS/, not /ay-jis/. In mythology the “aegis” is associated especially with the goddess Athene. It is her shield with the Gorgon’s head on it.
2. anyway - The problem with this word is not so much pronunciation as the addition of an unnecessary sound. Don’t add an s to make it “anyways.” The word is ANYWAY.
3. archipelago - Because the word is from Greek, the ch is pronounced with a /k/ sound. Say /AR-KI-PEL-A-GO/, not /arch-i-pel-a-go/.
4. arctic - Note the C after the R. Say /ARK-TIK/, not /ar-tik/.
5. accessory - the first C has a “hard” sound. Say /AK-SESS-OR-Y/, not /ass-ess-or-y/.
6. ask - The S comes before the K. Say /ASK/ not /aks/.
7. asterisk - Notice the second S. Say /AS-TER-ISK/, not /as-ter-ik/.
8. athlete - The word has two syllables, not three. Say /ATH-LETE/, not /ath-uh-lete/.
9. barbed wire- Notice the AR in the first syllable. Say /BARBD/, not /bob/.
10. cache - The word is of French origin, but it does not end with an accented syllable. A cache is a hiding place or something that is being hidden: a cache of supplies; a cache of money; a cache of drugs. Say /KASH/, not /ka-shay/.
11. candidate - Notice the first d. Say /KAN-DI-DATE/, not /kan-i-date/.
12. cavalry - This word refers to troops that fight on horseback. Say /KAV-UL-RY/, not /kal-vuh-ry/. NOTE: Calvary refers the place where Jesus was crucified and IS pronounced /kal-vuh-ry/.)
13. chaos - The spelling ch can represent three different sounds in English: /tch/ as in church, /k/ as in Christmas, and /sh/ as in chef. The first sound is heard in words of English origin and is the most common. The second sound of ch, /k/, is heard in words of Greek origin. The third and least common of the three ch sounds is heard in words adopted from modern French. Chaos is a Greek word. Say /KAY-OS/, not /tchay-os/.
14. clothes - Notice the TH spelling and sound. Say /KLOTHZ/, not /kloz/.
15. daïs - A daïs is a raised platform. The pronunciation fault is to reverse the vowel sounds. The word is often misspelled as well as mispronounced. Say /DAY-IS/ not /dī-is/.
16. dilate - The word has two syllables, not three. Say /DI-LATE/, not /di-a-late/.
17. drowned - This is the past participle form of the verb drown. Notice that there is no D on drown. Don’t add one when using the word in its past form. Say /DROWND/, not /drown-ded/.
18. et cetera - This Latin term is often mispronounced and its abbreviation is frequently misspelled. Say /ET CET-ER-A/, not /ex cet-er-a/. For the abbreviation, write ETC., not ect.
19. February - Just about everyone I know drops the first r in February. The spelling calls for /FEB-ROO-AR-Y/, not /feb-u-ar-y/.
20. foliage - The word has three syllables. Say /FO-LI-UJ/, not /fol-uj/.
21. forte - English has two words spelled this way. One comes from Italian and the other from French. The Italian word, a musical term meaning “loud,” is pronounced with two syllables: /FOR-TAY/. The French word, an adjective meaning “strength” or “strong point,” is pronounced with one syllable: /FORT/.
22. Halloween - The word for the holiday Americans celebrate with such enthusiasm on October 31 derives from “Hallowed Evening,” meaning “evening that has been made holy.” The word “hallow” comes from Old English halig, meaning “holy.” Notice the a in the first syllable and say /HAL-O-WEEN/, not /hol-lo-ween/.
23. height - The word ends in a /T/ sound, not a /TH/ sound. Say /HITE/, not /hith/.
24. heinous - People unfamiliar with the TV show Law and Order: S.V.U. may not know that heinous has two syllables. (The show begins with this sentence: “In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.”) Say /HAY-NUS/, not /heen-i-us/.
25. hierarchy - The word has four syllables. Say /HI -ER-AR-KY,/ not /hi-ar-ky/.
26. Illinois - As with Arkansas, the final “s” in Illinois is not pronounced. Say /IL-I-NOY/ (and /Ar-kan-saw/, not /il-li-noiz/ or /ar-kan-sas/). NOTE: Some unknowledgeable folks may still be trying to pronounce Arkansas as if it had something to do with Kansas. The pronunciation /ar-kan-zuz/ is waaay off base.
27. interpret - The word has three syllables. Don’t add one! Say /IN-TER-PRET/, not /in-ter-pre-tate/.
28. incident - Something that happens is an “incident.” Don’t say “incidence” when you mean a specific event. There IS a word “incidence,” but it has a different meaning.
29. “irregardless” - See the real word, regardless.
30. jewelry - The word has three syllables. Say /JEW-EL-RY/, not /jew-el-er-y/. The pronunciation /jew-ry/ is common but not correct, as it removes one syllable from the word.
31. library - Notice where the R comes in the word. Say /LI-BRAR-Y/, not /li-ber-ry/.
32. medieval - The word has four syllables. The first E may be pronounced either short [med] or long [meed]. Say /MED-EE-EEVAL/ or /MEE-DEE-EEVAL/, not /meed-eval/.
33. miniature - The word has four syllables. Say /MIN-I-A-TURE/, not /min-a-ture/.
34. Mischievous - This is the adjective form of mischief whose meaning is “calamity” or “harm.” Mischievous is now associated with harmless fun so that the expression “malicious mischief” has been coined as another term for vandalism. Mischievous has three syllables with the accent on the first syllable: /MIS-CHI-VUS/. Don’t say /mis-chee-vee-us/.
35. niche - The word is from the French and, though many words of French origin have been anglicized in standard usage, this is one that cries out to retain a long “i” sound and a /SH/ sound for the che. Say /NEESH/, not /nitch/.
36. orient - This word has three syllables. As a verb it means to place something in its proper position in relation to something else. It comes from a word meaning “east” and originally meant positioning something in relation to the east. Now it is used with a more general meaning. Say /OR-I-ENT/, not /or-i-en-tate/.
37. old-fashioned - This adjective is formed from a past-participle: “fashioned.” Don’t leave off the ED. Say /OLD-FASHIOND/, not /old-fashion/.
38. picture - There’s a K sound in picture. Don’t confuse picture with pitcher. Say /PIK-TURE/, not /pitch-er/. Pitcher is a different word. A pitcher is a serving vessel with a handle.
39. precipitation - This is a noun that refers to rain or snow, or anything else that normally falls from the sky. As with prescription (below), the prefix is PRE-. Say /PRE-CIP-I-TA-TION/, not /per-cip–i-ta-tion/.
40. prescription - Note the prefix PRE- in this word. Say /PRE-SCRIP-TION/, not /per- scrip-tion/ or /pro-scrip-tion/.
41. preventive - The word has three syllables. A common fault is to add a syllable. Say PRE-VEN-TIVE/, not /pre-ven-ta-tive.
42. pronunciation - This word is a noun. It comes from the verb pronounce, BUT it is not pronounced like the verb. Say /PRO-NUN-CI-A-TION/, not /pro-nounce-i-a-tion/.
43. prostate - This word for a male gland is often mispronounced. There is an adjective prostrate which means to be stretched out facedown on the ground. When speaking of the gland, however, say /PROS-TATE/, not /pros-trate/.
44. Realtor - The word has three syllables. Say /RE-AL-TOR/, not /re-a-la-tor/.
45. regardless - The word has three syllables. Please don’t add an IR to make it into the abomination “irregardless”.
46. sherbet - The word has only one r in it. Say /SHER-BET/ not /sher-bert/.
47. spayed - This is a one-syllable word, the past participle form of the verb to spay, meaning to remove the ovaries from an animal. Like the verb drown (above) the verb spay does not have a D in its infinitive form. Don’t add one to the past participle. Say /SPADE/, not /spay-ded/.
48. ticklish - The word has two syllables. Say /TIK-LISH/, not /tik-i-lish/.
49. tract - Religious evangelists often hand out long printed statements of belief called “tracts.” That’s one kind of “tract.” Houses are built on “tracts.” Then there’s the word “track.” Athletes run on “tracks.” Animals leave “tracks.” Don’t say /TRAKT/ when you mean /TRAK/, and vice-versa.
50. vehicle - Although there is an H in the word, to pronounce it is to sound hicky. Say /VEE-IKL/, not /vee-Hikl/.
51. wintry - Here’s another weather word often mispronounced, even by the weather person. The word has two syllables. Say /WIN-TRY/, not /win-ter-y/.
Monday, December 1, 2008
God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule
You can find the story at
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I love quotations
I have to admit that I do love quotations...especially from old dead people. I found a website that had several on it...So i stole what they obviously stole....but there are references to who supposedly said it....so I am giving credit to wo they say should be getting the credit. (So I feel ok about this theft)
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - unknown
A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it's not worth it. - J. Nowell
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. - unknown
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - unknown
A closed mouth gathers no feet. - Sam Horn
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. - John Florio (1553-1625)
A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing. - unknown
A flatterer never seems absurd: the flatter'd always takes his word. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
A friend in need is a pest. - Arthur Daley in the popular 1980's British sitcom, "Minder"
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. - unknown
A man must serve his time in every trade except censure-critics are ready made. - Lord Byron (1788-1824)
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. - Rhonda Hansome
A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. - Mark Twain
A teacher's job is to take a room full of live wires and make sure they are well grounded. - unknown (submitted by fubar@nque.com)
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - unknown
All the world is mad save for me and thee, and sometimes I wonder about thee. - Old Quaker saying - special thanks to the reader who replied to our query.
All would live long but none would be old. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. - Cassandra Chatfield
Anyone who doesn't think there are two sides to an argument is probably in one. - unknown
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot. - unknown
Being young is a fault that diminishes daily. - Swedish (on youth and age)
Blessed is he that can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused. - unknown
Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be dissapointed. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash (1902- )
Cheer up! Remember the less you have, the more there is to get. - unknown
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it. - Rene Decartes (1596-1650)
Credit cards are like mosquitoes. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood. - Ted Steckley (1949-)
Creditors have better memories than debtors. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Dear God, I have a problem; it's me. - unknown
Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. - Canning
Do what you think is right in your heart. You'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Dying while young is a boon in old age. - Yiddish (on death and dying)
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. - unknown
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. - unknown
Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest -- and so am I! - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Everyone has the right to be stupid but you're abusing the priviledge. - Shiv Daddar
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. - Will Rogers (1879-1935)
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - unknown
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Fish and visitors stink after three days. - - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Fond pride of dress is sure an empty curse; ere fancy you consult, consult your purse. - Ben
Franklin (1706-1790)
Gingerbread man is a perfect man, he's cute, he's sweet and if he gives you any heck, you can bite his head off. - kd with thanks to K. Walker
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. - Jewish Proverb
God works wonders now and then; behold! a lawyer, an honest man. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Golf: A good walk ruined. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Great talkers should be cropped for they have no need of ears. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Happiness is merely the remission of pain. - unknown
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. - Abraham Lincoln, a gentle needle
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill, a gentle needle
He has delusions of adequacy. - Walter Kerr, a gentle needle
He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner about Earnest Hemingway. (thanks to Pete Hartzel of Woodstock Corp.)
He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde, a gentle needle
He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder, a gentle needle
He is a self-made man and worships his creator. - John Bright, a gentle needle (thanks to Pete Hartzel of Woodstock Corp.)
He is not only dull himself, but he is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson, a gentle needle
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating, a gentle needle
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker, a gentle needle
He that drinks beer, thinks beer. - Washington Irving (1783-1859)
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow money to be repaid at Easter. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts, for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang, a gentle needle
He who dies with the most toys is still dead. - unknown
He's gone, and forgot nothing but to say farewell to his creditors. - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West, a gentle needle
Housework done properly can kill you. - unknown
How many observe Christ's birthday, how few his precepts. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. - unknown
I can't be out of money, I still have checks left. - unknown
I did not fall off the turnip truck just yesterday. - Terry Davis
I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain, a gentle needle
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here. - Stephan Bishop, a gentle needle
I have a new philosophy, I'm only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles Shulz ("Peanuts")
I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow, a gentle needle/i>
I never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed man. - unknown
I saw few die of hunger; of eating -- 100,000. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
If a frog didn't hop, he wouldn't bump his butt. - Sarah Isabelle Wendt
If a patient dies, the doctor killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him. - Italian Proverb
If at first you don't succeed, skydivings not for you. - S. Johns
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average. - unknown
If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands. - Charles Kingsley (1819-1875)
If the baby is happy, don't try to make it happier. - Dan Keeton
If you aren't careful, your kids will suck the marrow right out of your bones. - Anonymous
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. - unknown
If you want to be criticized, marry. - Irish Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romanian Proverb
If you'ld lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
If you're going to be dumb, you've got to be tough. - William Dempsey Wendt
In God we trust; all others pay cash.- American (on money)
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Louis Grizzard
It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain (Thanks to Michael Beard)
It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later. - Franklin Roosevelt (1882-1945)
It is easier to get forgiveness than to get permission. - unknown
It takes less time to do something right than to explain why it was done wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
It's not easy being green. - Kermit the Frog
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx, a gentle needle
I've just learned of his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb, a gentle needle
I've suffered a great many catastrophies in my life. Most of them never happened. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Lazy people work harder. - unknown (thanks to Jeff Hatch)
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Life is a big headache on a noisy street. - Yiddish Proverb
Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. - unknown
Life's too short for chess. - Henry James Byron (1834-1884)
Life's hard; get a helmet. - kd with thanks to K.Walker
Long tongue, short hands. - Czech (on words and deeds)
Love is blind but not the neighbors.- Mexican (on life and living)
Love your neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Man has his will but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)
Man's work is from sun to sun, woman's work is never done. - H. Blaney Giese
Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Many foxes grow grey but few grow good. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense. - Ben Franklin
(1706-1790)
Men are from earth, women are from earth, deal with it. - unknown
Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places. - unknown Mistakes will happen; others will be blamed. - Paul Perves (on corporate life)
Most people aim at nothing in life and hit it with amazing accuracy. - unknown
My idea of housework is to sweep a room with a glance. - unknown
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Nepotism works, get on the right side of it. - Dan Keeton
Never criticize a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way when you do criticize him, you are a mile ahead and you have his shoes. - unknown (thanks to S. Johns)
Never praise your cider or your horse. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It only frustrates you and really annoys the pig. - Dale Cade
No good deed goes unpunished. - Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)
No husband has ever been shot doing the dishes. - unknown
Now I have a sheep and a cow, everybody bids me good-morrow. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but hate in leisure. - Lord Byron (1788-1824)
One good husband is worth two good wives for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. - A.A. Milne (1882-?)
Only in America, if you fail as a person, you can always write a book. - Ferg Stevens
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. - unknown
People ask you for criticism but they only want praise. - Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Remorse the fatal egg by pleasure laid. - William Cowper (1731-1800)
Sacred cows make great hamburgers. - Michael Thompson
She was often wrong but never in doubt. - unknown
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. - unknown
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. - English Proverb
Speak the truth but leave immediately after. - Slovenian Proverb
Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't even fallen asleep yet. - unknown
Suppers have killed more than doctors have ever cured. - Spanish (on food and hunger)
Tact is the act of making a point without making an enemy. - Clarence Darrow
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadad, a gentle needle
The best thing about telling the truth is..you don't have to remember what you said! - unknown, courtesy of Georgie Bee
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully, - Russian Proverb
The difference between the Pope and your boss.... The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. - unknown, courtesy of Jack Shea
The difficult is done at once, the impossible takes a little longer. - Anthony Trollope (1815-1882)
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - unknown
The golden age never was the present age. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes
The money is always greener in the other fellow's wallet. - Bill ? The older I get, the righter my parents were. - Jeanne Warner
The other line always moves faster until you get in it. - unknown The poor have little - beggars none; the rich too much - enough, not one! - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out. - Dee Hock The sheik's miracles are those of his own telling. - Turkish (on words and deeds)
The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The trouble with being in a rat race is that even when you win you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
There are more old drunkards than old doctors. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it. - Mark Twain
There can't be another crisis this week, my schedule is completely full. - unknown
There is nothing more stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. - Will Rogers (1879-1935)
There is no waste of time like making explanations. - Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E. Leonard, a gentle needle
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. - Thomas Brackett Reed, a gentle needle
They never taste who always drink, they always talk who never think. - Matthew Prior (1664-1721)
They who drink beer, think beer. - Washington Irving (1783-1859)
Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Three may keep a secret if two are dead. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Time is fun when you are having flies. - Kermit the Frog
'Tis against some men's principle to pay interest and seems against others' interest to pay principal. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. - unknown
We developed language because of our deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
What the mulla says, you must do; what he does, you must not do.- Kashmiri (on hypocrisy)
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton
When a pessimist has nothing to worry about, he worries about why he has nothing to worry about. - unknown
When man and woman die, as poets sung, his heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
When mother ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. - unknown
When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
When we think we lead, we are most led. - Henry James Byron (1834-1884)
When you get at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
Who was the one who put the needle in the haystack anyway? - Lester Goslar
With the mouth, one can ford the wildest river. - Ethiopian (on words and deeds)
You are what you eat. Don't be a vegetable. - unknown
You can bear your own faults and why not a fault in your wife ? - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
You've got the brain of a four year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it. - Groucho Marx,
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - unknown
A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it's not worth it. - J. Nowell
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. - unknown
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - unknown
A closed mouth gathers no feet. - Sam Horn
A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple. - John Florio (1553-1625)
A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing. - unknown
A flatterer never seems absurd: the flatter'd always takes his word. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
A friend in need is a pest. - Arthur Daley in the popular 1980's British sitcom, "Minder"
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. - unknown
A man must serve his time in every trade except censure-critics are ready made. - Lord Byron (1788-1824)
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. - Rhonda Hansome
A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity. - Mark Twain
A teacher's job is to take a room full of live wires and make sure they are well grounded. - unknown (submitted by fubar@nque.com)
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - unknown
All the world is mad save for me and thee, and sometimes I wonder about thee. - Old Quaker saying - special thanks to the reader who replied to our query.
All would live long but none would be old. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. - Cassandra Chatfield
Anyone who doesn't think there are two sides to an argument is probably in one. - unknown
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot. - unknown
Being young is a fault that diminishes daily. - Swedish (on youth and age)
Blessed is he that can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused. - unknown
Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be dissapointed. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash (1902- )
Cheer up! Remember the less you have, the more there is to get. - unknown
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it. - Rene Decartes (1596-1650)
Credit cards are like mosquitoes. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood. - Ted Steckley (1949-)
Creditors have better memories than debtors. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Dear God, I have a problem; it's me. - unknown
Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. - Canning
Do what you think is right in your heart. You'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Dying while young is a boon in old age. - Yiddish (on death and dying)
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day. - unknown
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. - unknown
Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest -- and so am I! - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Everyone has the right to be stupid but you're abusing the priviledge. - Shiv Daddar
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. - Will Rogers (1879-1935)
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - unknown
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Fish and visitors stink after three days. - - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Fond pride of dress is sure an empty curse; ere fancy you consult, consult your purse. - Ben
Franklin (1706-1790)
Gingerbread man is a perfect man, he's cute, he's sweet and if he gives you any heck, you can bite his head off. - kd with thanks to K. Walker
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. - Jewish Proverb
God works wonders now and then; behold! a lawyer, an honest man. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Golf: A good walk ruined. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Great talkers should be cropped for they have no need of ears. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Happiness is merely the remission of pain. - unknown
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. - Abraham Lincoln, a gentle needle
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. - Winston Churchill, a gentle needle
He has delusions of adequacy. - Walter Kerr, a gentle needle
He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner about Earnest Hemingway. (thanks to Pete Hartzel of Woodstock Corp.)
He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends. - Oscar Wilde, a gentle needle
He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder, a gentle needle
He is a self-made man and worships his creator. - John Bright, a gentle needle (thanks to Pete Hartzel of Woodstock Corp.)
He is not only dull himself, but he is the cause of dullness in others. - Samuel Johnson, a gentle needle
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating, a gentle needle
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him. - Forrest Tucker, a gentle needle
He that drinks beer, thinks beer. - Washington Irving (1783-1859)
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow money to be repaid at Easter. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts, for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang, a gentle needle
He who dies with the most toys is still dead. - unknown
He's gone, and forgot nothing but to say farewell to his creditors. - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West, a gentle needle
Housework done properly can kill you. - unknown
How many observe Christ's birthday, how few his precepts. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. - unknown
I can't be out of money, I still have checks left. - unknown
I did not fall off the turnip truck just yesterday. - Terry Davis
I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain, a gentle needle
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here. - Stephan Bishop, a gentle needle
I have a new philosophy, I'm only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles Shulz ("Peanuts")
I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow, a gentle needle/i>
I never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed man. - unknown
I saw few die of hunger; of eating -- 100,000. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
If a frog didn't hop, he wouldn't bump his butt. - Sarah Isabelle Wendt
If a patient dies, the doctor killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him. - Italian Proverb
If at first you don't succeed, skydivings not for you. - S. Johns
If at first you don't succeed, you're about average. - unknown
If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands. - Charles Kingsley (1819-1875)
If the baby is happy, don't try to make it happier. - Dan Keeton
If you aren't careful, your kids will suck the marrow right out of your bones. - Anonymous
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. - unknown
If you want to be criticized, marry. - Irish Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romanian Proverb
If you'ld lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
If you're going to be dumb, you've got to be tough. - William Dempsey Wendt
In God we trust; all others pay cash.- American (on money)
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Louis Grizzard
It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain (Thanks to Michael Beard)
It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later. - Franklin Roosevelt (1882-1945)
It is easier to get forgiveness than to get permission. - unknown
It takes less time to do something right than to explain why it was done wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
It's not easy being green. - Kermit the Frog
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx, a gentle needle
I've just learned of his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial. - Irvin S. Cobb, a gentle needle
I've suffered a great many catastrophies in my life. Most of them never happened. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Lazy people work harder. - unknown (thanks to Jeff Hatch)
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
Life is a big headache on a noisy street. - Yiddish Proverb
Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. - unknown
Life's too short for chess. - Henry James Byron (1834-1884)
Life's hard; get a helmet. - kd with thanks to K.Walker
Long tongue, short hands. - Czech (on words and deeds)
Love is blind but not the neighbors.- Mexican (on life and living)
Love your neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Man has his will but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)
Man's work is from sun to sun, woman's work is never done. - H. Blaney Giese
Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Many foxes grow grey but few grow good. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense. - Ben Franklin
(1706-1790)
Men are from earth, women are from earth, deal with it. - unknown
Middle age is when the broadness of the mind and the narrowness of the waist change places. - unknown Mistakes will happen; others will be blamed. - Paul Perves (on corporate life)
Most people aim at nothing in life and hit it with amazing accuracy. - unknown
My idea of housework is to sweep a room with a glance. - unknown
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Nepotism works, get on the right side of it. - Dan Keeton
Never criticize a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes. That way when you do criticize him, you are a mile ahead and you have his shoes. - unknown (thanks to S. Johns)
Never praise your cider or your horse. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It only frustrates you and really annoys the pig. - Dale Cade
No good deed goes unpunished. - Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)
No husband has ever been shot doing the dishes. - unknown
Now I have a sheep and a cow, everybody bids me good-morrow. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but hate in leisure. - Lord Byron (1788-1824)
One good husband is worth two good wives for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. - A.A. Milne (1882-?)
Only in America, if you fail as a person, you can always write a book. - Ferg Stevens
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. - unknown
People ask you for criticism but they only want praise. - Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Remorse the fatal egg by pleasure laid. - William Cowper (1731-1800)
Sacred cows make great hamburgers. - Michael Thompson
She was often wrong but never in doubt. - unknown
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. - unknown
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. - English Proverb
Speak the truth but leave immediately after. - Slovenian Proverb
Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't even fallen asleep yet. - unknown
Suppers have killed more than doctors have ever cured. - Spanish (on food and hunger)
Tact is the act of making a point without making an enemy. - Clarence Darrow
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadad, a gentle needle
The best thing about telling the truth is..you don't have to remember what you said! - unknown, courtesy of Georgie Bee
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully, - Russian Proverb
The difference between the Pope and your boss.... The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. - unknown, courtesy of Jack Shea
The difficult is done at once, the impossible takes a little longer. - Anthony Trollope (1815-1882)
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - unknown
The golden age never was the present age. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes
The money is always greener in the other fellow's wallet. - Bill ? The older I get, the righter my parents were. - Jeanne Warner
The other line always moves faster until you get in it. - unknown The poor have little - beggars none; the rich too much - enough, not one! - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind but how to get the old ones out. - Dee Hock The sheik's miracles are those of his own telling. - Turkish (on words and deeds)
The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffing. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
The trouble with being in a rat race is that even when you win you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
There are more old drunkards than old doctors. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it. - Mark Twain
There can't be another crisis this week, my schedule is completely full. - unknown
There is nothing more stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. - Will Rogers (1879-1935)
There is no waste of time like making explanations. - Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E. Leonard, a gentle needle
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. - Thomas Brackett Reed, a gentle needle
They never taste who always drink, they always talk who never think. - Matthew Prior (1664-1721)
They who drink beer, think beer. - Washington Irving (1783-1859)
Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Three may keep a secret if two are dead. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Time is fun when you are having flies. - Kermit the Frog
'Tis against some men's principle to pay interest and seems against others' interest to pay principal. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. - unknown
We developed language because of our deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
What the mulla says, you must do; what he does, you must not do.- Kashmiri (on hypocrisy)
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult. - Charlotte Whitton
When a pessimist has nothing to worry about, he worries about why he has nothing to worry about. - unknown
When man and woman die, as poets sung, his heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
When mother ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. - unknown
When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain (1835-1910)
When we think we lead, we are most led. - Henry James Byron (1834-1884)
When you get at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
Who was the one who put the needle in the haystack anyway? - Lester Goslar
With the mouth, one can ford the wildest river. - Ethiopian (on words and deeds)
You are what you eat. Don't be a vegetable. - unknown
You can bear your own faults and why not a fault in your wife ? - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
You've got the brain of a four year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it. - Groucho Marx,
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